So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
