At least make sure they are 18
Why
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you had me at cake vodka
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
