we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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