her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
