I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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