Porn is love you can see.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
