i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize