there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
pray to the hookup gods
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
