Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize