When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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