In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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