Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize