I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
