He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
