Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
