we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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