why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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