I looked at my own cervix.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
