You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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