i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
