So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
don't judge my taste in strippers
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
