maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
