I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
