I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
