I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm just crazy horny about you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
