I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
