it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
