i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This is my gift to your gina
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
