They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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