MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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