If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
