So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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