I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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