i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i will never coherently bang her
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
