So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i think i just lost a toe
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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