she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
