why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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