OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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