I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
