Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
