You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she peed on how many people?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
