I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
