If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
