Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
