I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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