i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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