have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
