I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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