dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
