My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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