my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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