I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
