Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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