And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is Oprah even human
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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