there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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