I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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