he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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