What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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