ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
