Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
