yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
