I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
