dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
