There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize