David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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