i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
