in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
